1. Remove the jug from the water cooler and drink from it periodically, bragging that you 'got the last one'.
2. Photocopy things around the office, such as lamps, potted plants, staplers, etc. If someone asks about it, just say, "You never can be too careful."
3. Turn your radio up to full blast and sing along loudly with the song. Invite others to join you.
4. Pretend to be hypnotized by someone's screen saver.
5. Go into someone's office, grab a book from their shelves, and begin reading it aloud to them. If they interrupt, give them an evil look.
6. Give a someone a copy of Hamlet and ask them to proof-read it.
7. Use a hole punch to punch holes in all of your outgoing mail. Explain that the holes "make it more aerodynamic."
8. Bring a lawnmower into the office and pretend to mow the carpet.
9. Bring a TV remote control to the office and try to 'change the channel' on people's computers. When it doesn't work, mumble something about "Cheap Japanese crap."
10. Pull a chair up to your window and pretend to be working at a drive-through.
11. Stand at the washroom door carrying a baseball bat, then ask everyone in a low voice if they washed their hands.
12. Gnaw on your mouse, make cat noises, and lick your hands from time to time.
13. Walk into the offices, taking a careful look around. Talk into your shirt, saying, "No sign of him yet, Chief."
14. When the phone rings, answer by saying, "Hello Listener, you're on the air."
15. Proudly show everyone your calculator and hand out cigars. Tell them that your computer just had a baby.
16. Paint your face blue and start searching around in people's desk drawers. Ask them if they've seen your pills.
17. Create a document that is entirely black and print hundreds of copies. Use the printouts as wallpaper for your office.
18. Build a fire pit out of cinder blocks in the staff room. Place a stack of firewood in the corner, along with matches, lighter fluid, hot dogs, and marshmallows.
19. Place a row of liquor bottles on your desk, and a sign on your door which reads 'NO COVER!' Announce loudly that it's happy hour.
20. Get into the elevator and pretend to hold the door open for invisible people.
21. Secretly switch the coffee to decaf. Wait for four weeks and then, switch to espresso.
22. Pretend that your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
23. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Frebreeze.
24. Finish all your sentences with the words, "In accordance with prophesy."
25. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about, "Psychological profiles."
26. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
27. Send an e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
28. Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.
29. Send e-mail messages saying that there is free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh, you've got to be faster than that."
30. Put your bin on your desk and Label it 'IN'.
31. Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
32. When someone says, "Have a nice day," tell them that you have other plans.